August 26, 2010

This is not a love story

 the splitting headache is really taking its toll on me
dahlah i'm so upset today already
you (migraine) still choose to attack me when i'm going through hell
but this time i'll see to it myself that i would drag myself to the clinic
with or without your help
i'm determined to stay away this time
for fear of hurting myself again
*hello i've been hurt like 46573 times*

you know what? 
i don't even want to whine about it
you really can't blame people for not being forgiving enough
just because i am the forgiving type
maybe he just doesn't like you enough to care about you that much
because it would bruise his ego
after the August 18th incident my heart has been shredded to pieces
but i chose to forgive you
by forgiving you i am allowing you to hurt me even more

if only i could foretell the future
then i would have seen this coming and avoided it by all means
i have myself to blame, seriously
the signs were so obvious only an idiot like me would miss it
i wish i could change
i can't stop it, i can't change it
you wanted everything to go your way
refusing to give in and i allowed myself to be a pushover
a toy you dump aside when you didnt need my company!!!

and as i look back
it is crystal clear that i am no longer your no1 priority
as time passed i realized that you have never changed your plans to fit mine
or try to do things that i wanted to do
maybe i am not worth you making exceptions to spend time with me
the question now remains if i am the right girl for you
of course the first few months together was total bliss and
you made me the happiest girl in the world
but that happiness was shortlived
because i allowed you to have total control over 
what i do, what i eat, what i wear,

i no longer wish to be in this position
the way i see it your way of doing things is not only extremely selfish
so anyway i hope the next girl that comes along
you will treat her with respect and love her enough to
not treat her as crappy as how you were to me
i do not hate you i just don't want to be with you anymore
and you should know well enough why
and what you did

so let's not waste each other's time
if you must know you are not perfect either
you have your flaws but i don't pinpoint them because if i did
it'd put a strain on this relationship 
like it is not under enough pressure already
perhaps you just like to hurt other people before they hurt yours
that way it is easier for you to accept
that you are forever correct while i make all the mistakes
besides you have not kept your word
and you want to be treated like a real man?


anyway to top it all off
i want to sell my bold 2
so you rich people out there with the iphones and a gazillion of other gadgets
who wanna get a blackberry to complement your collection
can email me at
yes i am letting it go
even though i love it to bits
i hate the memories that come along with it
might as well get rid of it so i don't ever have to think about
what ifs and what nots