August 29, 2010


on a scale of 1 - 10 i'd rate my mood as a 3 today
now if there was a gun to my head
i'd be real honest and say today is a 1
so that you guys can shoot me in my head
and i can probably come back in the next life as somebody more interesting
somebody that can influence others
to do good and save the world

i am upset

not like this is something new
like i've always said if i had to live a long life
at least make it a happy one
GOD? Are you listening or not?
you took away my cousin three weeks ago
did you make a mistake? shouldn't it be me?
really there is nothing in life that i look forward to, so yea

take me away
i repeat take me away

no one would shed a tear
some may even be relieved
i feel like i'm cursed and i bring bad luck, like a jinx you know?
like old people always say
aiyaaa if you were born in the olden days and if you were lucky
you would have married and have kids

but i am not that lucky lor,
and don't pretend you care
because the closest around me don't even give two hoots
and stop sending consolation smses
they don't count
why couldn't i be born as a domestic cat?

why pick cat you ask me? ok, let this lao gor tell you
as a cat - gotta be domestic

1) i can come and go and no one would scold me
2) i am well fed - fresh fish and dry food
3) apart from licking my hair, i am always well groomed
4) i can sit on the window sill and just wait for the day to pass by
5) i don't have to pay for rent nor am i committed to a loan or burdened by credit card bills
6) i don't even have to talk just rub rub a bit on someone's leg
7) people see me and go waaaaa so cute
8) i don't waste money on mani-pedi, spa or facial worry about unwanted hair
9) i don't have to be schooled - i poo & pee outside
10) my owner loves me to bits!!

on a separate note, i met my former editor-in-chief 
at MBO last night
(old people also watch movie one meh?
oklah he is not that old *just in case he is reading this
anyhoots i immediately took the opportunity to ask him about work
but before he could say anything, the missus came by, cut into the conversation
damn potong stim right?
nemind, at least he had the sincerity to tell me to buzz him another day
i think another day would be after my trip to Taiwan coming October
i'm not desperate to work but i feel depressed at home
anyway its a lose-lose situation
but one comes with moolah, so that makes it a 70-30 HAHAHAHAH
speaking of work i'm thinking of extorting either my dad or mum 
to pay for my shopping *think work clothes*
you know, pick up my tabs hehehhehehehehehe

unless they want me to siasuay them 
then ignore me lah
i don't care i'll probably slob around in the house
until they BUAY TAHAN
then i'd rub it in and say, neh so-and-so's parents
just bought their daughter a macbook/D-SLR/Beemer and the list goes on

i'm sure alot of you do it too lor
correction, most of you don't have to do it and the presents just come flowing in
you guys should go and pai ti kong to have such 
wonderful parents, ipad come out straight away buy
iphone 4g buy
anything come out also buy #$%#$#$

and adding to the woes
my diet scheme is not working
although some have said that i look smaller
wtf, what is it suppose to mean "you look smaller?"
like i'm short issit?
just say la, you have slimmed abit leh liddat also cannot meh

i damn gut lak also no use
use this cream, use that lotion eat slimming pills
drink slimming coffee, chinese herbs
anything under the sun i have done it
why is it that it works on other people just not me?
kanasai i drink water also become fat, siao lah just kill me please???
i think imma stop talking for three months
maybe, just maybe, it'll scare the shit of *eh who ah?*
just someone lah
maybe then my quality of life would pick up abit?
i feel so disconnected like almost alienated, save for a few friends
who still talk to me on a regular basis
*lie one, i said it to look more normal
That's IT!
you wanna know how my mood is?
it's fuckall

there, i've spoilt the scale and i hope it stays that way
why can't i just live a normal happy life?

because i don't deserve it
i won't prove you wrong, or right
i go sleep
you people can scold all you want idk, idc