August 12, 2010

Simply Bizarre

today is by far the hottest day in 2010 
leaving me no choice but to stand up on my friend again
*hang on* before you think i'm a bitch yadda yadda yadda
i did give her a buzz so she knows i won't turn up
to be honest i could be just using the sun as an excuse
i have lost interest in going anywhere
unless with the boyfriend

so today, like any other day
i waited patiently for him to knock off work
so i could see him as soon as possible
before the clock struck five
i toiled about in the house, shuffling from my room to the living room
back to dad's study and the loo
played with QQ and Fifi

i even tried to make myself sleep in the hope that
when i wake up it will be nightfall
but that didn't work
so time, loosely speaking, passed by like eternity
well anyway eternity came about with great perserverance
seeing his sms telling me he was going home
put a smile on my face

i had so much to tell him
but i carefully filtered everything unimportant
so that it doesn't bore him as much
besides tomorrow is D-day
as much as i would like to share it with the world
this one i told myself to lay low
so my mouth is zipped to the public

so after all that waiting, from 8am to 7pm
i was expecting him to pick me up after he cleaned up
but that call never came
replacing it was an sms to ask me who yi lee was
some taiwanese guy
my sixth sense told me that this was trouble brewing

soon enough we were shooting smses back and forth
him accusing, me ignoring
he went on like a raging bull chasing after the red flag
and i gave it some thought after switching my phone off
and i realized
that he was fucking selfish

because at the end of the day
all he cared about was himself, it was so obvious
that he didn't want to be cheated on
look at it from a different angle, the whole relationship was about him him and just him
my life didn't matter to him
whether i was dying on bed-ridden
it wasn't about me

in his world i don't exist
i exist to complement his presence
it probably won't matter to him even if i was raped today
as long as the person raping me wasn't somebody i had an affair with
or some bloke that i knew from aeons ago
or some distant cousin by marriage

well before you put me to shame
i have something to tell the world
the same person who claims to love me and only me
has been trying to hook up with other girls
behind my back
YES, and i have proof of it

Last September he told my friend that i was not worth his time
and that if he had the moolah, he'd rather splurge it on seafood
and even by October
it seemed like he had a different agenda within him
he tried to hook up with another girl
and he claimed that he was SINGLE
when we were already seeing each other

on August 6th
again he wrote to another chick
offering his services to help her out
at midnight
minutes after he had sent me a msg 
telling me to return his call
one year and this is it?

blardy hell
ptui!!! pot calling the kettle black
he knows pretty darn well that he is treading on thin ice
if you happen to read this
please don even try to give me an alibi
because i'm sick fuck tired of all your antics

and to cap the night
i have to sleep alone wondering if tomorrow would be fine
while you fume yourself over NOTHING
maybe it's just him wriggling himself out of a situation to hang out
with his friends
well, just so you know
i'm not at your disposal

wasting my time
anymore disgusting?

signing off with much hatred